operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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