i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
