yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
