You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
