i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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