Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think people are normalizing furries
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
