it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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