at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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