I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
