I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We got so high we made milksteak
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
