fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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