And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
