Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
