I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
