I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
