we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
