Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
