Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
