I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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