You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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