i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
