it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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