Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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