I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
