Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize