she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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