I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
