you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
