I miss vodka workout Fridays
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
