Can Purell be used as lube?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She's the barista slut.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Mom said you looked used
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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