we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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