"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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