Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
