i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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