I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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