I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
