operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
i think my cat just said my name.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
