R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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