You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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