Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
