I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
