your address is 607B right?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.