he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest