Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I think I am morally bankrupt
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
