i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
