That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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