Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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