i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
