it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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