he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
