we're blogging at a bar
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
