you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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