Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
