i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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