that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
