Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
