would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
