It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
