Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
