If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
