im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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