i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
