GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
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i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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