new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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